31 January 2011

Black Swan (2010)


Did you have some sort of lezzie wet dream about me? Was I good?

So basically: Nina is a balerina in a New York City ballet company. When the prima donna retires, the spot for the lead in Swan Lake is left open. Nina auditions and miraculously gets the part, but solely on her determination and her perfection in dancing the white swan. As she struggles with the part of the black swan, she slips into delirium and paranoia.

I want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon after watching this. Damnit Darren Aronofsky, stop making movies! They suck, alright? They are stupid and fail! GAH! Why must you do this to me? I was also told that this is a mindfuck movie. My mind was not fucked. Or at least not in the way it was supposed to be! More like mindRAPED! I was kinda looking forward to this just for the hot girls - and lesbian scene - and yeah, okay, fap to Mila Kunis, but Natalie Portman kinda looked like butter spread over too much bread ... It was odd. And the lesbian scene! OMG! that was painful. I was pushing for it the entire film and instantly regretted it once it happened. DARREN ARONOFSKY IF YOU CAN'T MAKE A LESBIAN SEX SCENE HOT YOU OFFICIALLY FAIL! OK?!

This film is annoying. Period. Get off the list already.

Ziggi seal of disapproval!


  1. I disagree whole heartedly. Movie about pressure and a mental break down. I had some issues and yes at the end you do feel thoroughly mindraped as apposed to mind fucked. But I liked it, there was a lot going on the movie but people who say they didn't get it are silly. It's about a girl who is being forced to live vicariously for her mother, she doesn't LOVE dance, she wants to be PERFECT. A fools errand to begin with. On top of her psychotic mother's passive aggressive attacks and controlling attitude she's being sexually harassed by her head guy face...What is he? Dance Instructor? Dance Captain? Man of power who really just wants to bone his prima ballerinas. On top of not being well liked by her dance crew and a new girl who is clearly now her competition she's driven to a psychotic break! It's about being yourself or risking losing yourself.

    I liked it. Alot. But as I said there were issues.

    But some parts are just awesome when you think about them from another light. So you didn't like the trippy lesbo scene?

    Natalie Portman comes in to her obsessive mother, high as a kite, then shuts and locks the door and proceeds to have loud lesbian sex on the other side of the door. Well technically, masturbate loudly. It's fucking hilarious, and you can't even deny that.

  2. It was a bad scene.

    It was a bad movie. Srs. I read what you said and you basically just said the "messages" in the film. Which does not make a good film!
    It was bad! D:

  3. Sex scenes aren't always about sexiness especially when they're entirely fictional sex-scenes that represent your darker side winning over your more innocent and repressed self. As exhibited by locking your mother out of your room and masturbating loudly (Still funny.)

    And a message has a lot to do with how good a movie is just like it does in books. Because watching things happen for no reason is life. And I can and do watch that every single day...And it sucks.

  4. As much as I love my point, and arguing...Ooooo do I love arguing. I'mma withdraw it :p It's a mission in futility when you try to argue good and bad of media. Soo yup.

    But Bitty why didn't you just delete your comment? Cause I didn't log into my account cause I'm a dumbass.

  5. I never said it had to be sexy. I was just pointing out how much I hate Darren Aronofsky as a director.

    But, ok, I'm not going to further the argument if you do not want to

  6. great movie, great lesbian scene - but not one that would make me get my dick out and start beating off right there and then - which is a good thing because there are websites that cater to that.

    this is not a porno!

  7. I wasn't saying it had to be a porno to be good.
    But, watching it I just wanted to avert my eyes. It was just a bad sex scene.

    *why* is everyone hung up on the sex scene? I added that in as mostly a joke to the director.

  8. i disagree, not a porno, not a sucky movie, just catered towards specific ideas. if you don't like it that's fine, but i personally loved it. just depends on your taste in films.

  9. You're an idiot. The movie was phenomenal. L2Review

  10. Really? That's your only comment? Why bother?

  11. I watched the movie yesterday and I really enjoyed it. I did not read anything about the plot beforehand and I had no expectations about whatsoever kind of lesbian scene. I just watched a movie and I enjoyed my time a lot.

    I can remember that years ago I found myself zapping through the TV channels and I stopped at 'Pi'. I gave this movie 5 minutes and found myself sucked into it and although very late night I watched it. The next day I bought 'Pi' on DVD. Love it. And I am sure a lot of people hat it and will ask: what was the plot blahblahblah. I can't answer this and I don't want to but I can still watch it and I can virtually feel the pain that Max experiences. Very intense movie.

    The same feeling I had for black swan although it is certainly more mainstream than 'Pi'

    All the best


  12. Before i read this review i was unsure as to if i loved the movie or hated it. After reading your review it made me feel like you didn't do the movie justice at all and only watched it for the 'lesbo sex scene'(as you have mentioned you added the comment as a joke) But i think that scene was very well suited to the film and her teetering between being sane and insane.
    Although this film made me feel uncomfortable at times and maybe a little confused, i still feel like it should be credited by being on the 250 list, i think it was brilliant.

  13. "If you can't make a lesbian sex scene hot you fail"? You did say it had to be sexy! State your opinion and stick to it. Don't back pedal like that.

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