15 August 2010

Avatar (2009)


Neytiri calls me skxawng. It means "moron."
So basically: Humans have invaded the planet Pandora, inhabited by giant blue humanoids called Na'vi, looking for unobtanium, a rare and very expensive mineral. Dr Grace Augustine and other scientists have created Na'vi bodies, known as avatars, for their minds to connect with in order to lean from and study the natives. When one of the avatar operatives dies suddenly, his twin brother, a paraplegic ex-marine, is sent to take his place.

Ooooo, pretty! This movie annoys me on a fundamental level. It's basically just a showcase for the awesome special effects and 3D goodness (I think 3D is stupid, btdubs). If it didn't have all the pretty, I doubt people would go see this film or praise it as much as they do. I mean, sure the SFX are cool and will benefit future cinematic endeavours, but I think there's just too much of it. I didn't feel connected with the environment at all and it certainly didn't come to life for me. They should have done more location shoots, I think. The story is unoriginal and bordering on boring - especially how long it is, which is totes unnecessary - as it shoves it's message down the audience's throat (we get it! environment good, humans bad!). Also, I'd like to think in the next 100 years, we've become a little bit more considerate of others and aren't so money happy - also that we don't rely on primary resources as much as they run out and then the people are left screwed. I dunno, I was just angry at the humans - which I know you're supposed to be - and they were so one-dimensional it hurt my brain. Oh, and one last thing: the voice over was annoying, too.

NO! Why is it here? Totes does not deserve to be on the list.

Ziggi seal of disapproval!


  1. The story is surprisingly disappointing....
    of course the graphics are stunning......aesthetics are good. A regular hollywood plot in a different environment.....nothing much

  2. Agreed. I can see how the technology will benefit future cinematography, but honestly this just isn't a good movie. And you should rely solely on the tech

  3. It was VERY pretty, honestly it's this generation's Wizard of OZ with a same old story. It's showcasing the technology we now posses, which is valid, but not three hours worth of valid. Very beautiful and I do like that they used 3D to make you feel like you were there instead of just going like "Would you like a cup of TEEEEAAAA!?" *floating teacup in your face* instead it was like bugs flying around your face and leaves and enviromental stuff. BUT, The bad guys are a little to evil, the good guys are little too good and in general everything was a little too spoon fed to the audience. There was no work for us to do, it was like playing with your bossy cousin as a kid who tells you both what their doll is doing AND what yours is doing.

    This is what happens when Ferngully and Pochahauntus make out at glow-stick rave while on LSD.

    Also...People were SO UPSET that Earth wasn't as awesome as Pandora that they were suicidal...Come on society. Breed some better people...

  4. Society sucks. And so does 3D

  5. I loved it!!! Good movie, nice Sci-Fi!!!

  6. Very Beautiful movie.. artistically speaking..

    But seriously? they took pocahontus and made the indians blue..

  7. finally i agree with one of your disapprovals, this is mass market crap with scotch-taped plot, thin metaphors and fecking horrible character design/animation masking some serious flaws ... just an excuse to blow a zillion bucks on new tech ... for what it's worth, in the 3d arena, Jack Black's Gulliver's Travels was a deeper, more honest film, and 10x more entertaining (it didn't drown us all in pomposity and fricken well knew when to end) :P